


Love In This Club (We Hope)

by TheAsexualScorpio



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Bisexual Sansa Stark, Coming Out, Daenerys Targaryen/Missandei - Freeform, F/M, Fairy Tale Elements, Implied Khal Drogo/Myranda Royce/Margaery Tyrell, Mild Language, Minor Arya Stark/Gendry Waters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 02:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13021557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAsexualScorpio/pseuds/TheAsexualScorpio
Summary: Arya has resigned herself to spending New Year's Eve in one of Sansa's pretentious nightclubs, enduring her latest matchmaking scheme—even though she and Gendry are already dating.However, when Maggy the Frog bursts into Sansa's house with a bone to pick with Arya, everyone's plans go awry. Sansa is caught in the crossfire of a curse that transforms her into a frog, and Arya, Gendry, and Jon Snow only have until midnight to get Sansa her true love's kiss—or she'll be trapped as a frog forever.





	Love In This Club (We Hope)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [geekprincess26](https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekprincess26/gifts).



> It's important to mention that the Maggy the Frog in this story is the much younger SHOW!Maggy the Frog.

Despite her _terrible_ luck with dating and men in general, Arya's older sister still lived by fairy tale, rom-com, and Regency romance novel logic.

In Sansa's world, the only people who nutted up and _asked_ each other out were the ones who ended up getting left at the altar when their fiancee's Real True Love™ pulled their head out of their ass and crashed their wedding. Instead, Sansa considered it true love if at least one of three conditions were met: 1.) at least one half of the couple had pined pathetically after the other for a really long time, 2.) the couple was brought together by matchmaking shenanigans, or 3.) the couple had the kind of alarmingly aggressive sex found only in the tawdriest of fanfiction, and that somehow made the screaming matches they had when they weren't fucking okay.

It turned out option number three made up most of Sansa's relationship experience, and Arya had needed to sit down when she realized the implications: her prissy sister spent a lot of time getting turned out by creepy dudes. Arya still didn't what to do with that revelation, but it wasn't particularly relevant at the moment. What was relevant was Sansa's need to apply rom-com logic to everyone's lives, not just her own.

That need was why Arya was currently in Sansa's bedroom being forced into an itchy dress with far too many sequins so she could go clubbing. She'd much rather spend New Year's Eve in a dive bar with Gendry and their friends, but Sansa was convinced that Arya and Gendry were pining after each other. All they needed was one more push to finally get together, and the traditional New Year's kiss was going to be that push. They would go clubbing, Gendry would see Arya in her dress and be overwhelmed by how awesome she looked, and then they'd kiss at midnight. It would be beautiful.

Or, it would be if Arya hadn't jumped Gendry a week ago.

They had exchanged gifts on Sevenmas Eve, and Gendry's gift to her had been a knife that he'd forged and honed with his own hands. He'd also beautifully engraved it with the direwolves from Arya's family's crest. It was probably the most beautiful and thoughtful thing anyone had ever given her, and so Arya had kissed him before she could think better of it. Thankfully, he had kissed her back, and she didn't leave his apartment—specifically his bed—until late the next morning. A week later, they were firmly in that stupid honeymoon phase where Gendry smiled like a dumbass and kept calling her stuff like “babe,” and Arya wanted nothing more than to curl up on top of him and live forever in a nest of biceps and chest hair.

She had tried to tell Sansa all of this, but she either hadn't heard, or she assumed Arya and Gendry were only friends with benefits right now and needed her matchmaking efforts even more. Either way, Arya was stuck spending New Year's Eve in a pretentious nightclub with Sansa. On the bright side, Gendry obviously had to be there too for Sansa's plan to work, and he'd promised to bring all of their weird friends, including Jon Snow, who had his own menagerie of weird friends. It was going to be hilarious.

It was almost nine when Sansa finally said Arya was ready. When she turned and checked her reflection in the mirror, Arya was reluctantly impressed. She looked...shiny, in an edgy kind of way. Her dark brown hair had been straightened and pulled back into a high ponytail, and her gray eyes looked bigger and brighter than usual. Sansa had also done something to make Arya's cheekbones look almost as sharp as their mother's. The dress was coated completely in silver sequins, but Arya could admit that she liked the cut and color. It was strapless and slinky, and the hemline stopped several inches above her knees, making her legs look longer. To finish the look, Sansa had given paired Arya's own studded leather jacket with a pair of low-heeled black leather booties accented with silver studs.

“Now, I just need to finish getting ready, and then we can go.” Sansa's face was smug, but Arya didn't call her on it. She actually liked the outfit Sansa had chosen for her. She looked like she could kill a man at a fancy gala and then parkour off a skyscraper onto a motorcycle. Gendry was going to be into it too. No sooner had she thought of Gendry's reaction than she heard a knock downstairs. He was early.

“I'll get it,” she said. She rolled her eyes at Sansa's knowing smile, but she couldn't help but grin as she made her way down the stairs. Gendry was totally going to freak. “I'm coming!” she shouted when the knocking started again, louder and more insistent. She straightened her dress, drew herself to her full height, and then opened the door. She saw eyeliner and lank blonde hair before she was pushed back into the house. She grabbed the door to keep herself on her feet and then turned to the person who had forced their way inside.

Fucking damn it.

“Maggy,” she said through a tight smile. “What are you doing here?”

Maggy the Frog gave her a long, baleful look before she deigned to answer. “You know exactly why I'm here.”

“Uh no, I don't.” She really didn't. Maggy was a psychic who worked in a dingy parlor down the street from Gendry's apartment. She had greasy blonde hair, wore too much eyeliner, and every time she ran into Gendry, she leered and tried to grope him like it was her job. Arya couldn't stand her. She hated how Maggy never cared about how uncomfortable she made Gendry. There was no way Gendry would have invited her tonight, and Sansa didn't even know Maggy.

Maggy stepped into Arya's space and leaned down until her face was inches from Arya's. “Gendry. Is. Mine,” Maggy hissed.

Arya snorted. “I'd say that ship has sailed, but it wasn't even in your port, Mags.”

“And I'm really supposed to believe he's with _you_ , now?”

Arya occasionally caught herself wondering the same thing, but when Maggy asked, it only pissed her off. “If you were the other choice? Hells yeah, I'd pick me.”

“You're a flat-chested, horse-faced bitch.”

“And you're a greasy-haired wackadoo with clown-ass makeup.” Arya smirked as Maggy let out an outraged screech. “Now that we're done stating the obvious, you want to leave?”

Maggy narrowed her eyes at Arya and then stepped back. “Fine.” She shoved her hands into her pockets and started to walk away, but just as she reached the door, she turned back around. She smirked when Arya tensed. One of her pockets moved as her hand flexed inside it. “By the way, Arya?”

Arya crossed her arms and glared at Maggy. “What?”

“You think he'll want you like this?”

“Wha—?”

Maggy yanked something out of her pocket and threw it at Arya. Arya felt it graze her ponytail as she flung herself to the floor.

“Arya, what's—”

Arya's breath froze into a solid mass in her chest, and she rolled to face the stairs. One second, Sansa was there, coming down the stairs, and the next, she was gone. The only sign she'd even been there at all was her dark purple dress, crumpled in the middle of the stairs.

“SANSA!” Arya screamed. She rolled over and saw Maggy standing in the doorway, her heavily lined eyes wide with astonishment. Arya launched herself at her, tackling her to the ground. “What did you do to my sister?!” she shrieked, grabbing Maggy by the coat and shaking her.

The movement seemed to jar Maggy from her daze, and she shoved Arya off with infuriating ease. She started to get up. Arya leaped to her feet, but Maggy ignored her, focusing on the stairs. Arya hurried past her to the stairs and stood between Maggy and Sansa's clothing. Maggy had the absolute _gall_ to roll her eyes. “Calm down, you crazy bitch. I was just going to check on her.”

“Check on what?!” Arya screeched, gesturing to the dress. “My sister is gone!”

“Check the clothes.”

Arya gaped at Maggy. “You're not seriously trying to steal my sister's—”

“Fucking hells, no!” Maggy scoffed. “ _You_ check her clothes.”

“Check her...” Arya looked down at the clothes behind her. Besides the purple dress, she could see a black leather clutch purse, a hair clip and some bobby pins, a necklace, and part of a black leather high-heeled shoe. She realized suddenly that she could hear a high-pitched noise. There was something familiar about it, but she couldn't place it. She shot Maggy a warning look and then bent closer to the clothes. The noise seemed to get louder. Arya knelt and began to pick through Sansa's things. When she moved Sansa's dress, the noise stopped, and Arya stopped moving. She simply stared.

There was a frog sitting between Sansa's black Louboutins.

When it caught sight of Arya, the frog's wide mouth opened, and that high-pitched noise started again. Arya moved to glare at Maggy over her shoulder and started, because Maggy had moved away from the doorway. Now, she was standing a few steps below Arya on the staircase, looking at the frog like it was a pleasant surprise. “So, it worked,” she said.

“What worked?” Arya demanded. “Where's Sansa?”

Maggy tilted her head toward the frog. “That's Sansa, if Sansa is the redhead who was standing there before.”

Arya stood and loomed over Maggy. “This isn't fucking funny. Where is my sister?”

“I just told you. I meant to curse you, but I got your sister instead. Oops.” Maggie smirked.

Arya moved down a step and grabbed Maggy by the lapels again. “Where is she?” Arya repeated, in a slow, cold voice that she knew made people uneasy.

Maggy was no exception. Her eyes widened, and for a moment she looked at Arya like she'd never seen her before. Tentative now, she looked pointedly at the frog again. “You have no problem believing I could just make your sister disappear, but turning her into a frog is too crazy? I'm telling you that's her, right there.”

Arya let Maggy go and turned back to the frog. It—she?— had moved away from the shoes and was now prodding at Sansa's purse with its—her?—bright orange front toes. “Sansa?” Arya asked.

The frog looked up at her and croaked.

Arya glanced at Maggy and frowned at her smug expression. “Okay, that could totally be a coincidence.” She knelt in front of the frog and held her hand out. “Think you could hop on?”

The frog hopped onto her hand without hesitation.

“Uh, one croak for no, and two croaks for yes. Can you actually understand me?”

The frog croaked twice.

“Fuck,” Arya breathed.

“I told you,” Maggy said.

Arya rounded on Maggy, mindful of the small frog in her hand. “Yeah, you told me, and now you can fix this!”

Maggy looked thoughtful and then shrugged. “Nope. I can't.”

“You did this, you fix it!” Arya demanded.

“This isn't the kind of curse you can just take back. It has to be _broken_.”

“What kind of—” Arya cut herself off and took a deep breath. Through gritted teeth, she asked: “Fine. Then how do we _break_ it?”

“ _We_ are not doing anything. _You_ should start brushing up on your fairy tales. She only has until midnight.”

Before Arya could at least have the satisfaction of decking her, Maggy vanished. Arya started and looked around. She didn't see a single trace of Maggy.

The frog in her hand—Sansa—croaked.

Biting her lip, Arya looked down at Sansa. “Um...so that was Gendry's neighbor, and...she's a witch. Apparently.”

Sansa croaked again, and Arya could swear she was it sounded reproachful.

“I didn't know this was going to happen! _No one_ could have known this was going happen!” Sansa stared at her, and Arya added: “But! I will try really hard to help you fix this.” She bit her lip again and looked around. “Brush up on my fairy tales...” Sansa always liked fairy tales more than Arya ever did. “Fairy tale. Frog. The frog prince! Right?”

Sansa croaked twice in confirmation.

“But instead of a guy getting turned into a frog and getting a kiss from a princess, you have to be kissed by a prince.”

Sansa started to croak again, but then she cut herself off. Instead, she moved to the edge of Arya's hand. She looked pointedly at her clothes and then back at Arya.

“Seriously? You're worried about your clothes right now?”

Sansa gave a single loud croak and then edged even closer to the end of Arya's hand. She moved like she was preparing to spring.

“Oh, you want down?”

Sansa croaked twice, and Arya set her down among her clothes. Arya sat down on the step below and watched as Sansa hopped over to her purse and batted at the latch. After a moment, she looked back at Arya.

Arya picked up the purse and opened it. “What do you want? Your phone?”

Sansa croaked twice, and Arya took out Sansa's iPhone.

“I don't know your pass code.” Arya looked down at Sansa. “We could try a number at a time? One?”

When Arya reached three, Sansa croaked twice. Arya started over and received two croaks when she hit seven. Four and nine proved to be the last numbers, and the phone unlocked. Unable to guess what Sansa wanted next, Arya simply put the phone down. Sansa hit the Notes app with her front foot.

“Good idea,” Arya said, but she spoke too soon. The keyboard turned out to be too much of a challenge for Sansa. Unable to curl her toes so that only one touched the screen at a time, she could only type by smacking each letter with her entire foot. She kept hitting multiple letters, and after a couple of tries, Sansa keened in frustration and tried to nudge the phone toward Arya.

“One letter at a time?”

Sansa let out two resigned sounding croaks.

Arya cleared the gibberish away and then caught Sansa's eye. “A? B?”

Sansa croaked twice. They repeated the process with the next few letters until—

“Bisex—bisexual? You're bi?!”

Sansa let out two quick croaks.

“Really?” Arya couldn't quite get it to sink in, her boy-crazy sister and the word 'bisexual' in the same sentence. When Sansa didn't respond, Arya looked down, but Sansa wouldn't meet her eye. Why wasn't Sansa looking at her? Then, it occurred to her: Sansa was coming out right now. She was probably scared or embarrassed or something. The fact that she even cared about Arya's opinion was more surprising than the bi thing.

“I still love you and stuff,” she blurted out. Sansa looked up at her, and she added. “You're my sister.”

Sansa stared at her for a couple of seconds and then moved to the edge of the stair. She hopped off and landed on Arya's bare leg, making her start.

“Sorry! Sorry.” Arya laid a land on Sansa to steady her before pulling away and looking back at the message she'd helped Sansa type. “Okay, so you're bi. That means there could be a prince or a princess for you. You don't think Maggy means a literal royal, right? Because that's not a thing anywhere in this _hemisphere_.”

Sansa croaked once.

“Okay, so true love then?”

Sansa croaked twice.

“So we have—” Arya checked the time on Sansa's phone and swore. “—less than three hours to find your true love, with twice the options, and then we have to convince them to kiss you when you look like this. Not that you aren't a really pretty frog,” Arya hurried to add when Sansa glared at her.

Arya wasn't lying either. Sansa had smooth, glistening, green skin on her head and back, while her sides were striped yellow and deep blue. Her webbed feet and bulbous eyes were reddish-orange. It was just like Sansa to end up small and cute and colorful when literally anyone else would look repulsive, but it was a good thing. It would be much easier to convince someone to kiss Sansa if she looked like this rather than like a brown, lumpy toad.

“Sansa? Arya? Are you alright?” a cautious voice called from outside.

Arya smiled slightly in spite of herself. “We're in here, Gendry.”

Gendry walked into the house. “Why's the door open?”

Arya's flicker of good humor vanished. “Maggy the Frog was here.”

Gendry was across the room in an instant. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” Arya groused, batting him away. “Maggy's gone.”

“'Gone,' like there's a body I need to help you bury, or regular gone?”

Arya snorted. “You are a ride or die, babe.” She pulled him down for a kiss, reveling in the thrill it sent down her spine. She pulled away a moment later, when she heard a high-pitched noise. Sansa was staring at them with her mouth agape.

“There's a frog on your knee,” Gendry said stupidly.

Arya snorted again and smacked Gendry on the shoulder. “It's stupid Maggy's fault.”

“She gave you a frog?”

Arya sobered and looked Gendry in the eye. “This is going to sound crazy, but I need you to believe me, okay?”

“Okay,” Gendry said seriously.

“She turned Sansa into a frog.”

Gendry snorted. “Fuck, Arry. You really had me going for a second there.”

“I'm serious!” Arya exclaimed, stung.

“Yeah, right. Seriously, where's Sansa? Did you finally convince her that we're dating? Do we not have to do this anymore?”

Sansa croaked, and Arya thought she sounded shocked.

Arya glared at Gendry and then looked down at Sansa. “I told you! Gendry and I are dating. I want kiss him and touch his butt and all that stupid stuff.”

“You're seriously talking to a frog right now?” Gendry asked. He no longer looked amused.

“I told you. Maggy turned Sansa into a frog! I'm not crazy.”

“I didn't say you w—”

“You were thinking it!”

Gendry closed his mouth.

Arya picked Sansa up and held her in front of Gendry's face. “Ask her a question.”

Gendry's brow furrowed. “What?”

“Ask her a yes or no question. Sansa, you know the drill. One croak for no and two for yes.”

Gendry let out an exasperated huff. “Fine.” He looked Sansa right in the eye. “Are you Sansa Stark?”

Sansa croaked twice, and Arya sent Gendry a smug look.

Gendry looked unimpressed. “That was probably a coincidence. Is Arya Stark your sister?” he asked Sansa.

Sansa croaked two more times.

“Today's Sevenmas.”

Sansa only croaked once.

Gendry frowned. “Today is New Year's Eve.”

Sansa croaked twice.

“Croak five times.”

Sansa croaked five times.

Clearly unnerved, Gendry's eyes flicked back to Arya's face. “How are you doing that?”

“I'm not!” Arya exclaimed. “She's answering your questions because she's Sansa!”

“How—?”

“I don't know, okay? Maggy threw something at me, but I ducked. It hit Sansa, and she turned into a frog, and we have to fix her!”

Gendry eyed Sansa for a moment and then looked back at Arya. “How do we fix it then?” he asked seriously.

“Maggy said I needed to brush up on my fairy tales, and since she turned Sansa into a frog, we figured she meant _The Frog Prince_. Only, Sansa's bi—" Gendry raised his eyebrows. “—so we don't know if a guy or a girl needs to kiss her, and Maggy also said that we only have until midnight or Sansa's gonna be stuck like this!”

After a moment's thought, Gendry let out a long breath. “Okay, so the club is probably the best place to start. Everyone we know is going to be there. Let's go.”

“Thank you,” Arya sighed.

**~O~**

It was almost ten when they reached the club Sansa had reserved for the night.

The music pouring out of it was loud enough to shake the sidewalk a block away, so before they went inside, Arya took Gendry by the arm. Rooting around in Sansa's purse, she let out a triumphant “aha!” when she found Sansa's wallet. She picked the first credit card she saw and handed it to Gendry. “You start buying shots for everyone we don't hang out with. I doubt any of Sansa's friends would kiss a frog sober.”

Gendry saluted her with the card and went inside. Arya put the wallet back in Sansa's purse before pulling Sansa out of her pocket. “We're gonna try a couple of my friends first. They'll kiss a frog if I dare them to. Gendry's also already working on getting your friends drunk. We'll find someone, okay?”

Arya couldn't hear Sansa's reply over the music, but her mouth opened and closed twice. That was a yes.

She put Sansa back in her pocket and went inside the club. She found Lommy and Hot Pie almost immediately. They were dancing in a corner to the left of the bar, so badly that Arya was glad Sansa couldn't see anything from inside her pocket. She weaved through the crowd on the dance floor and shouted to catch their attention.

“What's up, Arry!” yelled Lommy while Hot Pie waved.

Arya smiled evilly, making Lommy imitate it and Hot Pie cringe.

“I have a dare for you guys.” She took Sansa out of her pocket. “Kiss this frog!”

“Gross!” Hot Pie exclaimed. He sounded more impressed than disgusted.

“Where'd ya get a red-eyed tree frog?” Lommy asked, his eyes bright with interest.

“That creepy psychic who lives near Gendry gave it to me!”

“It's probably poisonous! I heard they're poisonous when they're all colorful like that,” said Hot Pie.

“Nah, red-eyed tree frogs are fine. What do we get if we kiss the frog?” Lommy asked.

“A shot,” said Arya.

“Cool.” Lommy leaned over and pressed a kiss between Sansa's red eyes.

Arya watched Sansa with bated breath. She stiffened when Sansa moved, her body expanding a bit. Was this it? Sansa's body contracted, and Arya's shoulders slumped. It was just Sansa breathing.

Arya turned to Hot Pie. “Your turn!”

“Do I have to?”

“Kiss it, or pay chicken tax!”

Lommy laughed, and Hot Pie made a face. Arya could see him silently weighing the pros and cons of either option.

“Tick-tock!” Arya shouted, making Hot Pie start. “Kiss the frog or eat _all_ the old takeout in Gendry's fridge.”

“Fine!” Hot Pie scrunched up his face and pecked Sansa on the head. Nothing happened. Arya put Sansa back in her pocket and started toward the bar.

“Thanks, guys!” she called over her shoulder. “I'll get your shots!”

When she reached the bar, she had two shots sent to Lommy and Hot Pie before she started looking for Gendry. She found him at the opposite end of the bar.

“Lommy and Hot Pie were a bust,” she said.

“Of course they were. It's Lommy and Hot Pie. Another round!” Gendry called when a blue-haired man with a name tag that said “Daario” came by. He gave Gendry a grin and started pouring shots.

“Hey, Hot Pie can cook like a motherfucker. He'll make someone a great house-husband!”

Jon Snow's head appeared around Gendry's arm. “Are you guys trying to set Hot Pie up or something?”

Arya screamed and launched herself into Jon's arms. “Jon!”

“Hey,” Jon said, giving her a squeeze before pulling away. “What's going on anyway? I thought tonight was about setting you and Gendry up.”

Arya pulled away with a weak laugh. “Change of plans.” She turned to the bartender. “Is there some place private we can talk?”

Daario pointed to a corner on the opposite side of the club. “You could try the VIP lounge.”

Arya turned back to Jon. “I doubt we count as VIPs, but it's worth a shot. Come on.” She grabbed Jon and Gendry's elbows and started pulling them toward the opposite side of the club. “Thanks, Daario!” she called over her shoulder.

When they reached the opposite corner, they found a skinny, stone-faced, black man standing in front of a door. He held a clipboard, and his name tag read Gray Worm.

“Can we go up there?” Arya asked.

“Are you on the list?”

“Erm, Arya Stark?”

His expression didn't change, but he moved aside, pulling the door open as he went. Inside, Arya could see a thin staircase.

“Sweet,” Arya said, grinning. She'd never been a VIP before. She started up the stairs, but when Jon and Gendry tried to follow, Gray Worm stepped in their path. “Them too, please?” Arya asked.

“Are you on the list?” Gray Worm repeated.

“Gendry?” Gendry asked.

“Jon Snow?” guessed Jon.

Gray Worm pointed to Gendry. “You can go in.” To Jon, he said, “You must stay down here.”

When Gray Worm moved aside, Gendry picked Jon up and tossed him up the stairs after Arya. _That_ got a reaction from Gray Worm, though Arya had no idea how he was able to pack so much indignation into just a quirk of an eyebrow. Gray Worm started up the stairs, and Arya shoved Jon toward the top of the steps before putting herself between him and Gray Worm.

“I'm really sorry, man, but we need him up here too.”

The only change in Gray Worm's expression was the slight downturn of his mouth, but Arya read the judgment loud and clear. She opened her mouth to tell Gray Worm that it wasn't like that, but she changed her mind. There was no time. Shaking her head, she turned and started back up the steps. When she reached the soundproof lounge, she was able to hear Gendry's heavy tread behind her.

Jon was seated on one of the couches, and he glared at them as they walked into the room. “What in hells is going on?”

Arya took Sansa out of her pocket and told Jon everything about what happened with Maggy the Frog. “We figured you could help us convince the Wildlings and your Night's Watch buddies to kiss Sansa,” she finished.

Jon stared, and just when Arya was beginning to fidget, he asked: “You've been drinking a lot, haven't you?”

“No, stupid!”

“She's telling the truth,” said Gendry. He tilted his head toward Sansa. “She can answer yes or no questions.”

Jon opened his mouth, but Arya spoke first. “We don't have time for you to interrogate her! We have less than two hours before Sansa is stuck like this forever! Jon, will you please help us?”

After a moment, Jon shrugged. “Alright. Even if it's not true, it'll be funny to see Tormund kiss a frog. Let's go.”

Arya put Sansa back in her pocket and followed the boys back to the dance floor. They nodded at Gray Worm as they went, and Gendry headed back to the bar to keep buying shots. Jon took Arya's arm and made a bee line for a group of men in black. It was astonishingly easy to get them to kiss a frog, and the men went by in a blur. Sam Tarly, Grenn, Pyp, and Satin all failed, and Arya held her breath when Sam's ridiculously hot brother, Dickon, pressed a kiss to the top of Sansa's head. When nothing happened after a solid thirty seconds, Arya let it out.

“Now, that is a damn shame,” she whispered to Sansa.

Arya caught the edge of a long, mournful croak over the music.

The wildlings were next. Tormund Giantsbane bellowed that if he could fuck a bear, he could kiss a frog, and he became the first one all night to kiss Sansa right on the mouth. Sansa's eyes went wide, and Arya laughed so hard, she almost fell over. The rest of the wildlings cheered and cackled over the music. Once Arya calmed down enough to take a breath, she saw that the kiss hadn't worked. Sansa was still a frog. That was another shame in her book. The idea of her prissy sister with Tormund Giantsbane was hilarious. Mance Rayder and two other men took their turns after Tormund, and Sansa remained unchanged.

Jon leaned down to speak directly into Arya's ear. “That's all I can do. I don't know anyone else.”

“What about them?” Arya asked, pointing to two women she recognized as Jon's exes, Val and Ygritte.

Jon frowned in confusion. “They're girls.”

“Sansa's bi,” Arya replied, feeling a little bad for outing Sansa without her permission.

Jon's eyes seemed to glaze over for a moment, and when he didn't reply, Arya slapped him on the arm.

“Right!” Jon said with a start. He turned to Val and Ygritte. “Your turn!”

“I'm not kissin' a fuckin' frog,” Ygritte called back.

“I'll buy you a shot.”

“Still no.”

“I'll give you the rest of the money for that compound bow you've been saving up for!”

Ygritte frowned thoughtfully and then shrugged. “Alright. You got yourself a deal.” She pushed her way toward Jon and Arya and then pecked Sansa on the head. Jon and Arya stared at Sansa, but nothing happened.

Jon turned his attention to Val. “Okay, Val, since Ygritte was such a pussy—” Ygritte squawked in outrage. “—am I gonna have to bribe you too?”

Val smirked. “Ygritte's gonna make you pay for that, Snow.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Arya could see Ygritte sending Jon a poisonous glare. She didn't doubt Ygritte would make him pay. Val stepped up to them and kissed Sansa on the head. Nothing happened.

“Thanks, guys!” Jon called as they walked away. He leaned down to Arya. “ _Now_ , that's all I can help with. Any other ideas?”

Arya checked her phone and felt her heart leap into her throat. It was already past eleven, and they hadn't found Sansa's person. She looked back up at Jon. “Go get the shots you owe your friends and see if you can talk anybody else into kissing Sansa. I'll go back to the VIP lounge to see if I can scope out another target.”

Jon nodded and headed back to the bar while Arya shoved her way through the crowd to the VIP lounge. Gray Worm was no longer watching the door, but Dany Targaryen had her friend Missandei pushed up against it. Or at least, Arya had _thought_ they were friends. Dany's hand creeping up Missandei's skirt seemed to indicate otherwise. Face burning, Arya looked back and forth between them and the door. What should she do? She took Sansa out of her pocket. When Sansa caught sight of Dany and Missandei basically having sex right in front of her, her pupils blew so wide that the red almost disappeared.

“Wow, you really are into girls, aren't you?” Arya muttered. It gave her an idea. When Dany and Missandei broke apart for air, Arya shoved Sansa between them. They both kissed Sansa on the side and then reared back, identical expressions of bewilderment on their faces. They turned their attention to Arya just as she put Sansa back in her pocket. Missandei seemed confused, but Dany was glaring. Arya laughed nervously. “Erm...save room for the Maiden? Sorry, excuse me, I just need up here.”

She squeezed around them and opened the door leading to the VIP lounge. Yanking it shut behind her, she took the stairs two at a time and then hurried to the edge of the lounge, where a floor-to-ceiling window overlooked the crowd. Arya put Sansa on her shoulder, so she could hear any input Sansa might have. Arya scanned the crowd and made a face when she recognized not one, but two of Sansa's douchebag exes: Joffrey Baratheon and Harry Hardyng-Arryn.

“No way are either of those assholes your true love,” she said firmly.

Sansa croaked twice in agreement.

Arya kept looking, scoffing when she she caught sight of Petyr Baelish and Ramsay Snow. “A creep and a psycho. Also no. Why'd you even invite them anyway?”

Sansa croaked once.

“No? No, you didn't invite them?”

Sansa croaked twice more.

“So, they just showed up. Yeah, I can buy that.”

“Why are you talking to a frog?” someone behind her asked.

Arya whirled around with a yelp, and then swore as she felt Sansa slide off her shoulder. She caught Sansa just before she hit the ground. “Sorry! Sorry!”

She looked up and saw two men sitting on a shadowed lounge in the corner of the room. She recognized the younger as Willas Tyrell and the elder as Oberyn Martell. Both watched her with bemused expressions, but Oberyn's had a tinge of amusement as well.

She looked down at Sansa and then back up at them. “It's a long story, and this is going to sound weird, but would you mind kissing this frog?”

“Rumor has it you've been telling people your sister was cursed by a witch,” Willas said instead.

Arya bit her lip and then let out a bark of forced laughter. “It's just a dare, man. Come on.”

“So, it wouldn't bother you at all if we told you no and sent you on your way?” Oberyn asked with a knowing smile.

When Arya remained silent, Sansa decided to respond. She croaked once. No. Arya gave her a sharp look and then turned her attention back to Oberyn and Willas. She wanted to mock them, challenge them, but from what she heard, it never ended well when someone challenged Oberyn Martell. “Please?” she said instead.

“Is it true your sister was cursed?” Willas asked, his golden brown eyes bright with interest.

“Would you believe it if I said yes?”

“Willas and I have seen many strange things in this world of ours.”

“Why do you want to know?” Willas raised an eyebrow.

“I'm a Tyrell, dear. We always want to know things.”

“Fine,” Arya huffed. “Gendry's creepy neighbor doesn't like me, so she tried to turn me into a frog, but she got Sansa instead. Could you guys please kiss her now?”

The men exchanged looks, and then Oberyn shrugged. “Bring her here, please.”

Arya carried Sansa over to the couch and held her out to Oberyn. He pecked Sansa on the head and then watched her critically. Several beats passed, and Sansa's only movement was the rise and fall of her breath. Arya sighed and held Sansa out to Willas. He leaned over and kissed Sansa's head. A moment passed, and Sansa still didn't change.

Arya sighed and put Sansa back in her pocket. “Thanks anyway, guys. I'll buy you both a shot for the trouble.”

They raised their glasses in a mock toast as she left. Dany and Missandei were gone when she reached the bottom of the stairs, but one of Sansa's rich friends, Myranda Royce, was there instead. She could be a possibility, Arya decided.

“Hey, Randa!” she said with forced cheer. “I have a dare for you.”

Clearly drunk, Randa narrowed her eyes at Arya. “What kind of dare?”

“Kiss a frog.” Arya took Sansa out of her pocket and held her out to Randa, who shrieked and backed away. “Come on!” Arya exclaimed. “I'll buy you a shot if you do it!”

“Don't _want_ a shot,” Randa said petulantly. She eyed Sansa like she was about to start spitting acid.

“Then, what do you want?”

Randa frowned like Arya had just asked her to solve world hunger. She looked at Sansa, then at Arya, and then around the club. Her eyes focused on the bar, and she pointed. “That?”

'That' seemed to be a massive, leather clad man with copper skin and long, dark brown braids done in the Dothraki style. Arya could see the metal gleaming in the man's hair from here. It took her a moment, but Arya recognized the man as one of Dany Targaryen's exes, Khal Drogo. He was drinking some kind of beer so dark that it looked like motor oil.

Arya turned back to Randa. “The drink?” she asked hopefully.

“No!” Randa giggled. “The man. He's sexy.”

“Of course,” Arya sighed. She took another breath and straightened her spine before holding Sansa out to Randa. “Kiss the frog first.”

Randa wrinkled her nose. “Do I have to?”

“No frog, no Dothraki.”

“Fiiiiiine,” Randa whined. Scrunching up her whole face, she inched toward Sansa, her glacial pace making Arya roll her eyes. After a small eternity, Randa's lips finally connected with Sansa's skin.

Arya wasn't even surprised when Sansa didn't change. She just let out another sigh and forced a smile at Randa. “Thank you. I'll go get your man now.”

“Yay!” Arya put Sansa back in her pocket and started making her way to the bar. She was about halfway there when someone slammed into her side, almost knocking her down. She managed to steady herself by grabbing the person who'd hit her and found herself face to face with Margaery Tyrell. Margaery was one of Sansa's best friends, and she was openly bi. Maybe she was Sansa's person? Arya took Sansa out of her pocket.

“Hey, Margaery. I dare you to kiss this frog.”

“Ew, no,” Margaery replied, wrinkling her nose.

“I'll buy you a shot.” Margaery gave her an unimpressed look.

“Still no.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please!” Arya begged. She sounded just desperate enough that Margaery looked intrigued.

“What'll you do for me if I do?”

Arya checked her phone and swore. “Whatever I can swing in the next fifteen minutes is yours!”

Margaery looked around the room, and then her lips curled into a sly smile. She pointed to the bar, right at Khal Drogo. “Him.”

“Deal. Kiss the frog, please,” Arya said, holding Sansa out to Margaery.

Margaery frowned, but she didn't protest, and she didn't take ages about it like Randa did. A quick peck later, and she was done. When Sansa didn't change, Arya shoved her back into her pocket and started running as best she could toward the bar, shoving people out of the way as she went. “Pleasure doing business with you!” she shouted over her shoulder at Margaery.

When she reached the bar, she quickly ordered the shots she owed Willas and Oberyn and then hurried over to Khal Drogo. He didn't acknowledge her. Instead, his dark eyes were riveted to the dance floor, where Dany and Missandei seemed to be in their own world. The big man looked dejected. Leaning on the bar, Arya placed a hand on his arm. “You know, they say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

 _That_ got Drogo's attention. He looked her over and then snorted derisively. “Are you even legal?”

“Yes, but I wasn't talking about me.” She took Sansa out of her pocket and held her out to Drogo. “Kiss this frog for me, and I can _guarantee_ you a threesome.”

...that he would have to work out with Randa and Margaery himself, but semantics.

Drogo looked at Sansa and then back at Arya. “What the fuck.”

“It's a long fucking story that I don't have time to get into right now.”

Drogo stared at Arya for a moment and then shook his head, chuckling. “You're wild, kid.” He leaned down and kissed Sansa on the head.

Arya had to take a deep breath to keep herself from swearing when it didn't work. She put Sansa back in her pocket and then pointed to Margaery and Randa. “That's Margaery and Randa. Both are into you, and Marge is bi.”

“Hot.”

“Go get 'em, tiger,” Arya said, standing on her tiptoes to slap Drogo on the shoulder. He gave her an amused look and then started toward Margaery. Arya checked her phone and let out a frustrated shriek. Five minutes to midnight. She looked around the room, and she didn't see _anyone_ they hadn't already tried or eliminated. Gendry and Jon were at the end of the bar, also watching the dance floor, so Arya rushed over to them. She grabbed each of them by the arm and started dragging them back to the VIP lounge.

“Is Sansa okay?” Jon asked over the music.

“No,” Arya yelled back, a hysterical edge to her voice. She let the boys go when she reached the staircase and then ran up the stairs two at a time. She found the lounge empty. Gritting her teeth against another shriek that was trying to burst out of her mouth, Arya began to pace. The shriek came out anyway when Jon and Gendry finally came into the room, making them both start. “It's almost midnight, and we've tried everybody! What the fuck are we going to do?!” Arya exclaimed.

“Erm, maybe you should kiss Sansa,” Gendry suggested nervously. “Maybe it's like 'Frozen.'”

Arya was willing to try anything at this point. She yanked Sansa out of her pocket and mashed a kiss against the back of her head. Her face scrunched up at the cold wetness of Sansa's skin. When Sansa didn't change back, Arya's eyes began to burn. She took a ragged breath and rearranged Sansa so they were eye to eye. “I do love you, you know that? Even if we don't hang out, or like the same things, or even get along most of the time, you're my sister, and I love you, and I want you back.” She gave Sansa a peck on the head. “Fuck!” she screeched when Sansa didn't change. She thrust her at Gendry, harder than she probably should have. “Gendry, you try!”

“You really think _I'm_ her true love?!” Gendry exclaimed.

“No, but it's worth a shot!”

He gave Sansa a quick peck, but nothing happened. Arya didn't have time to feel either relief or disappointment, because right then, the DJ's voice boomed loud enough to be heard clearly even in the soundproof VIP lounge.

“It's time for the countdown, y'all!”

The crowd joined in as he started to count the seconds to midnight. “Ten! Nine!”

“Fuck, Jon!” Arya yelled, shoving Sansa at Jon. “Your turn!”

“What?! But I—”

“DO IT!”

“Three! Two!”

Jon's lips connected with Sansa's skin right as the crowd reached “one.” As the crowd roared “Happy New Year!” the frog in Arya's hands disappeared, and a fully human Sansa suddenly appeared between Arya and Jon. For a long moment, they all simply stared at each other. Arya noted absently that Jon's gaping mouth made him look like a fish. Then, she realized something. She hadn't thought to bring Sansa any clothes, so the reason Jon was probably gaping like that was because he was getting an eyeful of full frontal nudity.

Sansa seemed to realize it at the same time, because she suddenly yelped and tried to cover herself with her arms. Jon immediately looked up at the ceiling like it would explain the meaning of life, while Arya started looking around the room for something Sansa might be able to wear. She locked eyes with Gendry, who was looking pointedly away from Sansa, and got an idea.

“Give me your shirt.” Gendry was eight inches taller than Sansa and more than twice as broad, so his shirt should more than cover her.

His brow furrowed. “Wha—?” “You have a jacket around here somewhere. Hand it over.”

With a huff, Gendry slipped off his shirt and handed it to her. Arya passed it to Sansa, who gratefully pulled it on. Just as Arya suspected, the hem landed low on Sansa's thighs. Sansa sent them both a grateful smile.

“Thank you.” It seemed she was talking about more than just the shirt. Sansa turned to Jon and smiled shyly. “And thank you.”

Jon returned the smile. “It was, erm, my pleasure.”

“This one will be even better.”

“Wha—” Jon's eyes widened as Sansa's lips found his. They slipped shut as Sansa deepened the kiss, and his arms looped around her waist, pulling her closer.

Gendry tapped Arya on the shoulder. “It's not fair that Jon's the only one getting kissed here.”

Arya scoffed and reached for him. “Get down here, you stupid bull.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was utterly ridiculous, and I hope everyone liked it.


End file.
